Revenge of the Mint-Killer

The incident with the mint should have taught me a thing or two about my father. Namely, if he offers you some spare plants for your garden, you may want to consider planting them directly in the ditch lest they take over every inch of cultivated ground you have. And don't piss him off, or he'll douse you in gasoline.

I learned the former point the hard way, when two summers ago he offered to give me some daylilies. Sure, I said. Why not? Daylilies are beautiful and carefree and even edible.

And it's a good thing, because treating them like a crop is the only way you'll ever keep them in check. He gave me two varieties, a creamy yellow one and a large burgundy variety with a gold throat. Pretty. And unstoppable. In the rush of late-season harvesting, I left the donated lilies in the garbage bag they arrived in, through the heat and drought and then insanity-causing rain that is fall in Connecticut. And then I remembered them, and felt guilty for having neglected them, and gave them a spot in my hallowed garden space to over winter.

The next spring, I spent a good part of my "weed control" time digging out daylilies. They were EVERYWHERE. I try to like this quality in a non-poison-ivy plant - invasiveness - because, well, it's just so darned endearing, that cheerful assertiveness. Think you got rid of me? Whoops! Here I am in April in the peas! and in May in the lettuce! and on through to the squash and tomatoes at the end of summer...

I should BE so resilient.

And this spring I transplanted another of my father's gifts - Johnny Jump-Up violas. Wow. Also edible, also invasive. Also cheery, thank God. My father is either trying to keep me well-fed or ensure that my garden doesn't out-perform his.

So this year I think I'll return the favor. I'll start with some of those damnable violets that invade my garden every spring and then prick my hands with their guerilla seed pods each fall. And maybe some redroot pigweed which I'll dress up and call "wild perennial amaranth".

And all those daylilies? I gave some to my friend Chris. Along with four types of mint. Her garden was looking a little too promising this year.